Raj Jawa: Actor / Editor

I would come to learn, through therapy, that likely my parents didn't affirm me enough. I don't remember if they did or did not affirm me growing up; but when I think of boisterously celebrating a child's rudimentary explorations, it makes emotional sense to do so but intellectually evokes a sense of high-riding disgust.  This understanding led me to realize how much of my creative drive was in search of affirmation, parasocial fanship, and external confirmation of worth. I do love creating, I have an undeniable passion for it, but my motivation was always to be seen. So when I never really gained an audience, when even friends and family didn't seem to care or be aware of what I was doing, it made sense to quit because I never attained any of what I was seeking.  I never considered any of my pursuits to be inauthentic. I believe I always tried to put myself into my work fully which made the de facto rejection feel all the more personal. But in the background there was