The View from the East

It's been a long time since I've written a blog post. I used to have a misconception that everything I posted had to be article worthy, now I feel like I should try to express myself on a more consistent basis in this space. At the end of the day, it's unlikely many people will read this or at least not for years to come, perhaps when a large segment of society has deemed me important enough to follow,  after I make a successful impact in film and/or TV.

It's difficult to know what aspect of social media to use at what time. Facebook is without a doubt my most popular and engaged outlet but does a flow of consciousness really belong on my Facebook wall? Or is it better to write the blog here and link it on Facebook? That would certainly reduce the number of eyes on it given the added step of clicking a link is a significant impediment on our busy days. I try not to concern myself with the way something should be done and try to resolve to just do something in a way that seems correct to me.

I've been away from Los Angeles for almost a year now but it took moving to Boston to realize how much I missed it, how much I enjoyed the somewhat demoralizing grind. I made a mistake in trying to find economic stability in acting, I should have been working Uber long ago and trying to hone other marketable skills as well. I look forward to making my low- or no-debt return to LA in 2019 and taking an even more serious crack at acting upon my return. 

I feel taunted by wealth and opulence here in Boston. Perhaps it's merely my negative mindset, poisoned since my family's bankruptcy and home foreclosure, but I am surrounded by luxury apartments and condos at nearly every turn, every off-ramp in the city. I'm sure the same is true of LA but it was home and this is only my first complete year since we lost our house in Santa Clarita in December of 2017. 

It hurts me, I feel a lump in the bottom of my heart, everytime I look into those apartment windows and see a better life. My life is in no way bad but it's a shadow of its former self; life should be improving, be moving forward not falling back. I'm working on it, I'm trying to be responsible and clear my credit card debt before returning to LA to, inevitably, incur more expenses as I will have to rejoin the casting websites, pay for acting classes, and print more promotional materials. But I've gained the importance of sustainability since then, probably to an obsessive degree, so I'm hoping I can keep my head well above water; ideally with my parents help again, there's little reason to not utilize their help if it can be there in any capacity. 

Driving for Uber is stressful, I feel constantly on edge from wayward pedestrians, double-parked cars, and wild drivers; I'm numbed by endless inane small talk and braggadociousness. But it's good money, better than I could earn above board with my convoluted tax obligations, and one of the better reasons for living in Boston; the rides here are generally much shorter as neighborhoods are much more compact and closer than what you'd find in LA. I have doubts I will be able to earn nearly as much in LA but I'm hoping I can earn enough to cover my monthly expenses which I know will be higher in LA. Without the credit card debt, I think it's theoretically possible; that's the hope.

Noteworthy Events
11/5 @ 7:45AM
Participated as a Rioter in a Massachusetts State Police Training Exercise